Body Image
All through my life I have had problems with my body image. Bullied in middle school for having larger tits than most girls, in the locker room, idiotic pestering about my size and almost pear shape. In high school I found boys and girls flaunting to me. Granted, I was (and am) a little chubby. I don't have a flat stomach and my breasts and even thighs jiggle a little when I walk.
But I like that.
I liked my body for so long throughout high school and a few years after. I loved how curvy I looked in jeans and a tank top, how deliciously my body was accentuated in a bodysuit and how great a pleated skirt looked on me.
Recently my doctor told me I needed to lose weight. I was devestated. Not only had I been doing a TON of hiking that summer, but I had also changed my eating habits a lot. Eating healthy foods, avoiding fast food and avoiding meat, but I still found myself going up a cup size. I still found my weight slowly creeping up. The embarassment to be told to lose weight (when your doctor and their staff are on the MUCH larger side) was devestating. Lately I have found myself being more picky. Smaller, fewer meals. Working out at the gym. And the problem is that I now want instant results. Before, I was happy knowing I was doing a lot of work and it would eventually pay off, because I wasn't exactly worried about it.
Now, I'm struggling to lose weight fast and to tone even faster. I overwork myself, eat too little, and drink more water than I ever have in my life.
Sometimes I fit in a small, sometimes I fit in a medium, sometimes I have to wear a large or extra large. I can fit in all sorts of clothes because not one store fits the way another fits. It's annoying and embarassing that society has created this image where you have to be curvy - yes - but you also have to have a tiny stomach and waist. There are so many problems with the way that women are showcased in todays society. It's seriously disgusting. I hope that other women are not struggling so much and I hope that soon I will be able to tell myself again "Yes, I love this body".
End little rant.
x Princess Kida
